"I Do Not Want to Go Back to Nigeria" – Chimamanda Adichie Speaks After Son's Death

"I Do Not Want to Go Back to Nigeria" – Chimamanda Adichie Speaks After Son's Death

Adichie made the disclosure in an interview with The New York Times, where she reflected on the death of her son in Lagos in December 2025 and how the loss has affected her relationship with her home country.

When asked whether Nigeria still felt close to her heart, the author gave a blunt response. "My feelings toward Nigeria have changed," she said. "I do not want to go back to Nigeria."

Her words mark a profound shift for a writer who has spent much of her career writing about Nigeria and the experiences of Nigerians at home and abroad. Nkanu, one of Adichie's twin boys with her husband, Ivara Esege, became ill while the family was spending the holidays at their home in Lagos. According to the interview, Nkanu initially developed what appeared to be a cold and later developed a fever.

Esege, a physician, started him on antibiotics, but the child did not improve. The couple subsequently took him to a local children's hospital before later taking him to Euracare in Lagos for an MRI examination.

Adichie said her son was sedated with propofol to keep him still during the examination.

Recalling the incident, Adichie said a doctor approached her after the procedure and told her that the child had been given too much propofol. "He was very calm and he said to me, 'Well, look, they gave him too much Propofol.'

Those were his exact words, which I will never forget until the day I die," she recalled. The circumstances surrounding Nkanu's death are now the subject of a coroner's inquest, with the proceedings marked by delays and disagreements between the family and the hospital. Adichie and Esege have urged the inquest to investigate what happened, saying they hope the process can help improve Nigeria's healthcare system. The death has also affected Adichie's longstanding connection to Nigeria.

She described the country as the place that gave her "everything" she needed to become a writer, saying America made it possible for her to write, but Nigeria gave her the material and the identity that shaped her work.

However, the loss of her son has changed that relationship. "I mean, it is so surreal, all of this. I still can't believe we're talking about my son who died," she said. "You're going through something, but you also feel like you're outside of it." Despite her current feelings, Adichie said her children remain deeply connected to Nigeria. Her daughter considers the country her "happy place" and is one of the reasons the family would return. Before Nkanu's death, Adichie and her family had effectively maintained two homes, regularly spending Christmas, Easter, and summers in Nigeria.

She said the loss of her son has now complicated that relationship with the country she had always considered home.